Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Say 'NO' To Bullies

Sitting in a room full of people who had their own fair share of problems finally gave me a sense of clarity. I had heard countless stories like these before, but the one being told at that very moment was as my subconscious had crawled into my head, parked a chair, and began reading my thoughts.

The Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of the word ‘bully’ is a person who is ‘a person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker’. In my experience, I’ve learnt that this type of person isn’t always someone who doesn’t know you, but rather is most likely to be someone who you’ve known and trusted for many years. Begrudgingly, my mind went back to the fateful day I learnt this lesson the hard way.

This particular day started off as any other normal day. I had just come back from school with my two best friends and we were relaxing in my bedroom. My phone made a sound telling me I had a text message. My eyes began to water as I started to read. Even as I was remembering this fateful day, my subconscious had now made herself extra comfy with a box of popcorn as if she knew the story was getting ‘good’. My best friends noticed that I had gone quiet and asked me if I was alright. I said nothing but passed the phone for them to read themselves.

“Everyone knows that Matt never really liked you and was just flirting with you as part of a bet,” Melissa began to read.

“He would never be your boyfriend because he thinks that you’re nothing but a fat, pathetic, ugly and desperate wannabe,” Sarah read out.

“There isn’t a single person who isn’t glad that you’re not here,” Melissa finished.

“Why can’t they just leave me alone?” I whispered, finally regaining the ability to speak.

“I’ve left the school, I’ve left my neighbourhood and I’ve even left the damn town so why won’t they just leave me in peace?! I whispered fiercely.

A single tear rolled down my left cheek.

“Aww Grace please don’t cry,” Sarah said slowly rubbing my back. “Whoever sent this is the one who’s pathetic! I mean you left that school, what, a year ago and their sending this now?! They obviously have nothing better to do with their time.”

“Do you recognise the number the text came from?” Melissa enquired.

“That’s the worst part. It’s from a person I grew up with. Someone I considered to be a big brother.” I replied shaking my head.

My subconscious’ lower lip was now trembling, the popcorn long forgotten.

The organiser of the meeting spoke up, bringing my mind back to where I was.

“Thank you for sharing Lisa. Who would like to go next?” he asked.

Bravely, I put my hand up.

“Hi, my name is Grace and I’m a victim of bullying.”

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Bye Bye Education (For Now...)

Well it's official...
I had my very last undergrad lecture 2 weeks ago and I must admit it was a bittersweet feeling.
Strangely, I know I'm gonna miss going to uni for lectures and seminars. But the things I definitely won't miss are the essays and most definitely the annotated bibliographies (I HATE those things btw).

After I had that last lecture, the common saying "Shit just got real" popped into my head and I started to panic.
I have just 4 weeks to complete all of my assignments. They include:

  1. Dissertation; 7,000 words creative piece with 3,000 word essay and annotated bibliography
  2. 2,000 word specimen chapter with synopsis, critical commentary and annotated bibliography for my non-fiction module
  3. Work placement report on the success/failure of the annual Middlesex University's North London Literary Festival
All of this has to be submitted on May 3rd.

I hate being a last minute .com sort of person when it comes to my work, however it's not easy to write when you have a severe case of writer''s block AND you can't seem to work out where you need go next - especially when you're writing what I am.

I know that I should not fear because I have God on my side but that doesn't give me the right to waste time and do what isn't important.

If there is one thing I do know, it is that by the special grace of the Almighty God, I will be walking across that stage with my head held high.

Signing off until next time...